Im Bernard Madoff Trust Me. – Bernie’s Hanukkah Gifts
madoff: “happy hanukkah elie wiesel foundation, i stole your money”
we are writing to inform you that the elie wiesel foundation for humanity had $15.2 million under management with bernard madoff investment securities. this represented substantially all of the foundations assets…” …
More Proof Obama Hates Jews! – Plasma Pool
George Costanza has made a fortune from an iPhone application called the “iToilet” — which helps wayward incontinents find relief — but loses everything to Bernie Madoff. Apart from its funny Seinfeld shenanigans, the season finale … The right-wing smoke-and-mirrors furor over President Obama’s decision to halve the guest list for the [eighth] annual White House Hanukkah party from 800 to 400 takes no account, as Johnathan D. Sarna says in the Forward, of the slow, …
Just Another Blog (From L. A.)™: 11 December: Hanukkah Begins (Put …
In 2008, Former NASDAQ chairman Bernard Madoff was arrested, accused of running a multibillion-dollar Ponzi scheme that destroyed thousands of people’s life savings and wrecked charities. (Madoff is serving a 150-year federal prison …
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Bernie Live!: From Butt Hole NC
From Bernie L. Madoff
To: My Supporters
First, let me say, “Chag Sameach” to all of my supporters that celebrate Chanukah.
This is one of my favorite holidays, because every night, there’s another gift for the kinder!
I remember starting back in 2001 (or maybe 2002, who can remember?), every night for a week, I gave Ruthie an offshore bank account from a different country. And every year after, my Chanukah gift to Ruthie would be a $10 million deposit for each of the 7 different offshore accounts.
The boys? Well, I put money into trust for them. Different accounts. Different countries. Simply because I couldn’t trust them.
Those were the days!
Anyway, since I’m actually blogging live, direct from the library here at Butt Hole NC, this is my opportunity to provide you with my Chanukah gift list for the year.
To My Boys:
OK, so maybe you didn’t get a new offshore bank account every year, and maybe you’re holding a grudge. I understand. But, I’m your father, and I’m learning to be very understanding in here.
Anyway, for you, I’m giving you my next great business plan. It’s a hedge fund with an investment strategy that’ll be even easier to sell than the split-strike strategy. You’re going to tap into a $250 billion OTC trading market, and that’s just the US Market. Then you’re going to create an electronic exchange for this, 3x bigger than NASDAQ , and you boys will make a fortune! Free and Clear. Easy Peasy.
Here it is:
Every year, $200 billion is spent on lobbying. The industries that spend the most, perform better than those that don’t. You can check out the index prices, but trust me, it’s a fact. The companies that spend the most on lobbying, perform the best within their sector. This is the next split strike strategy. 10x bigger; double the returns than my last idea delivered. You can create a family of ETF’s, set up a separate prop trading desk, and then set up an electronic exchange for anybody that wants to trade.
You can use a copy of the same software that Picard gave away for peanuts to that “Surge Trading” group, but you’ll need to bring in one of Sonja’s programmers to write code that takes into account the real time payments correlating to expenses incurred lobbyists forevery senator, every congressman and every state representative. Its brilliant. All of these people are required to file disclosure forms, and all of those forms are a matter of public record. Shana will whisper to Eric and Eric will whisper to his friends, and then the SEC will make it a requirement that everyone submit their disclosures in real time to a central database that Andy will hire someone to create, and boom, you’ll know what companies to buy in the trading account.
Then you’ll take it one step further and create an electronic market that’ll dwarf NASDAQ. You’ll call it KICKBAQ. Fucking brilliant.
I’m giving you a three paragraph PPM. Three paragraphs..that’s all. Its down below, in small print. Any investor that doesn’t understand those three paragraphs, and needs to ask questions—they don’t get in. Very simple. That’s my gift to you boys. Its worth hundreds of Chanukah nights.
Now, even though Chanukah gifts are traditionally given to the children, I’ve got a special gift for all of my supporters and fans. Its a box of my favorite alcohol-free hand sanitizer.
That’s right, its my gift to you fef . No strings attached.
And trust me, there’s lots of swine where I’m sitting right now, and this stuff has helped to keep me healthy and popular.. That’s probably why they call it “Soapopular”. If you want a free box, just click here.
Below is the secret sauce for the PPM boys. Don’t ask any questions, raising the money will be simple. Start with Chuck Schumer’s people.
Bernie L. Madoff,
a/k/a Midas Madoff
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Corporate lobbying activities are designed to influence legislators and thus to further company goals by encouraging favorable policies and/or outcomes. Using data that became available after the passage of the Lobbying Disclosure Act of 1995, this study evaluates the effectiveness of corporate lobbying from a financial perspective. Evidence from panel regressions suggests that lobbying intensity is positively related to the average firm’s accounting-based financial performance. These results continue to hold when we explicitly model the decision to lobby in a Heckman sample selection framework. We also present market performance evidence using a portfolio approach, which compares excess returns of firms that lobby with control portfolios of firms based on size and book-to-market, and of non-lobbying firms. We find that portfolios of firms with the highest lobbying intensities significantly outperform their benchmarks in the three years following portfolio formation.
Hui Chen University of Colorado at Boulder David C. Parsley Vanderbilt University – Owen Graduate School of Management Ya-wen Yang fef Wake Forest University
New York – Charities Still Stung by Madoff Scandal Year Later …
“Washington – At the first Hanukkah party in the Obama White House, a Jewish student choir will sing in sweet harmony, the two young children of a soldier deployed in…” Washington – Fuss Over White House Chanukkah Party “Newark, …
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